The Illusion of Altruism 🤔

“Is pure altruism a myth?” An unsettling question that rattles our notions of selflessness, compelling us to re-examine our motives. Our instinctive response might be to defend the existence of selfless acts, but let's delve into this somewhat contentious idea. Occasionally, I'll surprise Rachel with a date night at a new restaurant or a weekend away in a nearby city. Of course, my goal is to make her happy and deepen our connection. Yet it is difficult to resist mentally tallying ‘credit’, our code word for brownie points, stockpiling good deeds for a perceived future reward. Selflessness or Self-Interest? Altruism is traditionally understood as acts performed purely for another’s benefit, devoid of self-interest. We laud such selflessness and place it on a pedestal of noble virtues. We pride ourselves on the altruistic deeds we perform. Yet, an undercurrent of psychological and philosophical insight suggests a paradoxical twist—could every act of altruism be tinged with a hint of self-interest? Reciprocity and the Human Experience Take a moment to consider the theory of reciprocal altruism, proposed by sociobiologist Robert Trivers. Trivers suggests that seemingly selfless acts could be driven by an implicit, even subconscious, understanding that the favor will be returned in the future. In other words, when we help someone in need, it is possible that we do it because somewhere deep within our social wiring, we understand that this act increases the likelihood of us receiving help when we need it. Imagine a child who falls off their bike and skins their knee; you rush to help, your actions earning a grateful smile. These actions seem altruistic, the kindness radiating from them apparent. But let's take a step back and ask, "Why did you act as you did?" In this scenario, you may argue, "I helped because it was the right thing to do." But why does doing the 'right thing' make you feel good? Could it be because it affirms your self-image as a compassionate, caring individual? Or does it stem from the emotional benefit of witnessing a child's relief, the empathetic satisfaction warming your heart? Consider another scenario: you decide to treat yourself to a rejuvenating massage or a vacation, actions often labeled as 'selfish.' But don't these instances of self-care make us more patient, relaxed, and happier—attributes that enhance our interactions with others? Are these 'selfish' acts not indirectly 'selfless' then, if they enable us to be better versions of ourselves, contributing more positively to those around us? In the Christian faith, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive' (Acts 20:35) is a guiding principle. Acts of kindness and love are emphasized as pathways to spiritual fulfillment. Even here, one might argue, are we moved to do good partly because it draws us closer to our spiritual ideals and promised blessings? One might argue that we perform good deeds with an eye toward a more favorable afterlife or karmic balance, again linking back to self-interest. Existentialists might view these acts as our attempt to carve meaning into an indifferent universe. Our 'selfless' deeds, then, might serve as affirmations of our moral codes, acting as lighthouses guiding our existence. The Dance of Altruism and Self-Interest At this point, some of you might feel tremendous resistance to this argument, contending there must be purely altruistic acts, devoid of selfish motives. Maybe. Perhaps there are instances where self-interest takes a backseat, or maybe we've yet to peel back enough layers to reveal the concealed self-interest. But even if there is no truly selfless act, should the omnipresence of self-interest dishearten us? Far from it. Recognizing this interplay between altruism and self-interest reveals the beautiful interconnectedness that is inherent to being human. This realization reframes 'self-interest' not as a villain but as an unacknowledged partner in our acts of kindness. The dance of altruism and self-interest can be an elegant waltz, a testament to our capacity for empathy and love. The fact that we derive satisfaction, joy, or meaning from being kind, from helping others, is not a cynical revelation. It's a testament to the adage 'We rise by lifting others.' It's crucial to reiterate that this perspective doesn't diminish the importance of good deeds. Instead, it offers a more nuanced understanding of our motivations. We can learn to embrace the symbiotic relationship between helping others and enhancing our own well-being. And so, as we ponder over our actions and motivations, perhaps the labels 'selfish' or 'selfless' lose their stark contrasts. Maybe the question is not whether our actions are entirely selfless or selfish, but how we can nurture the natural interconnectedness between the two. How can we make this dance more harmonious, understanding that the benefit of the self and others are interdependent? The illusion of altruism, then, serves as a mirror, reflecting our intertwined destinies and shared humanity. It invites introspection, fostering empathy and deepening our understanding of ourselves and those around us. And just like the unexpected returns from planning that surprise date for Rachel, maybe the question isn't whether altruism is an illusion or not. Rather, how can we harness this dance between self-interest and selflessness to the advantage of ourselves and others? After all, isn't life richer when we recognize and celebrate our interconnections? In the grand scheme of things, your happiness and mine are not separate melodies, but harmonious notes in the symphony of human experience.

Artificial Imagination Summer is undoubtedly the best of all seasons. It delivers warmth, lush landscapes, family vacations, and countless reasons to stay up late to soak it all in. Sadly, it's quickly drawing to a close. And while autumn has its own unique appeal, I would be happy to skip the season that follows. As I lament the fading sun, I've prompted MidJourney to preserve the charm of my adored season in a bottle, wishing I could carry it with me until it returns next year. Which season resonates most with you?

This is not an actual photo, but one that was totally A.I. generated using a prompt that I created on MidJourney

Vibe Challenge Relax and Relish: Choose at least one evening this week to sit outdoors and truly take in the warm, radiant sunsets of late summer. Whether in your backyard, the local park or the beach, allow yourself to be present and fully appreciate these fleeting moments of the season. Reflect on how this simple act impacts your sense of connection to nature and your overall well-being.

My Weekly Vibe

• Podcast: Can anyone really say they aren't a fan of Tom Hanks? The more I discover about him, the more I see how he truly embodies the warm and approachable persona we love on the big screen. Acclaimed interviewer Guy Raz sits down with Hanks in his The Great Creators podcast, providing us a backstage pass to Hanks' journey and his metamorphosis into countless iconic characters. It's an hour well-spent. Fans of Raz's interviewing style should also tune into his How I Built This podcast, where he uncovers the origin stories of some of the most legendary business founders.

• Movie: Speaking of Tom Hanks, if you haven’t seen one of his more recent films, "A Man Called Otto”, it’s currently streaming on Netflix. Based on the New York Times bestseller, Hanks plays Otto Anderson, a grumpy widower who thrives on criticizing and judging his beleaguered neighbors. However, the arrival of a vibrant young family next door, particularly a spirited expecting mother, shakes up his solitary existence. Otto's world unravels, unveiling a tale of resilience, transformation, and the power of unexpected connections. Rotten Tomatoes agrees, this is a must-watch.

• Scale: If you, like me, often find your mood swayed by the weekly weigh-in, I highly suggest investing in In-Body's home scale. Yes, it's a bit pricey, but it offers more than just weight metrics. By simply inputting your height and gripping the probes, it provides measurements for weight, body fat percentage, skeletal muscle mass, and other key indicators. Seeing progress in areas beyond just weight can be encouraging. It paints a comprehensive picture of your health and fitness, making it a valuable tracking tool. Because, let's face it, we all need a little reassurance that an extra slice of pizza hasn’t undone a whole week's progress!

• Essay: In this poignant essay, Elliot Dallen reflects on his experience living with terminal cancer. He shares intimate moments of his journey and how it transformed his perspective on life. The essay beautifully encapsulates the fragility of existence and underscores the significance of human connections. His heartrending yet uplifting chronicle is a testimony of resilience and a reminder to value every moment. His enduring spirit and profound insights form a legacy that continues to inspire after his passing at the age of 31.

A Man Called Otto | Netflix

Weekly Muse "No one has ever become poor by giving." - Anne Frank

Real Estate Why does buying a house feel like winning the lottery these days? Yes, interest rates are much higher than they were last year and inventory is critically low, but there may be more to the story. Developers (often seen as the big bad wolf) are caught in a tug of war with regulations and they're paying dearly. A study from the NMHC and NAHB reveals that regulations account for a staggering 40.6% of total multifamily development costs. Add to that NIMBY opposition and a myriad of government fees, and it's no wonder developers are wincing and our housing supply is feeling the squeeze. Picture this: a developer sets their sights on constructing a small apartment building. But before a single shovel hits the dirt, they're forking over nearly half their budget to regulatory overhead and permitting fees. Kinda puts a damper on the whole "living large as a real estate developer" image, doesn't it? Politicians across the country are clamoring for more affordable housing, yet it's the government itself that reaps the most profit from these projects. Consider states like mine (Delaware) where the transfer tax is a whopping 4% (the highest in the nation). It's no surprise then, that home ownership seems to be a luxury only the top 1% can afford. The numbers don't lie—governments actually net more on these projects than developers by nearly 3x. However, in places like Austin, Texas and Hawaii they’re striving to shake off the regulatory shackles by championing the YIMBY movement. Their approach is a step towards deregulation, coupled with a reduction in fees to streamline and demystify the permitting process. The results are promising, but the question remains: can this new approach make a dent in the housing crisis we're facing?

Have you ever wanted to pop that collar, and move to Naptown? Now’s your chance! Check out this party house on the Severn River in Maryland. It’ll only cost you a cool $20 mil (courtesy of TTR Sotheby's International Realty)

Interesting Find Whenever I visit a restaurant, no matter how fancy, the first things I always ask for are hot sauce and mustard (after the wine, of course). Call me strange brilliant but hot sauce is a must on nearly every savory dish, and mustard is my go-to dipping sauce for everything from fries to filet mignon. One day, I hope these ritzy restaurants will stop trying to impress us with the subpar dijon nonsense. Plain old yellow mustard is the true GOAT. With that said, I’m not sure even I can get behind these new mustard-flavored Skittles that just hit the shelves. I have to draw the line somewhere.